So here it is

REASONS I DONT LIKE THAT IDEA

1. Mardi Gras is in February. It is JULY
2. Louisiana has more to offer than a big Mardi Gras celebration that is really just people vomiting. we could make it gator themed. or just the south, so hip hop, giggin, and watermelon
3. I DO NOT WANT TO SEE YOUR WHORE TITS! I have seen them one to many times and i do not need a fucking excuse for you to be more of a slut.
4. I am in denial about the move and that the person i love the most isnt going to be around for over a year and that breaks my fucking heart
so no

i dont think so.

Been here since 8am... alone... with church ladies

WHAT THE FUCK
is the point of being awake this early when there are no kids.

I need to make money
so i can move
and be uncomfortable
and see if it helps

I miss your face.
I miss Brum... WTF?!
Never thought Birmingham would strike such emotion!
The Mailbox, The Bullpen
fabulous

The church ladies here are like all other church ladies
i hear them gossiping
then i pass and they switch to me
"thats beth's daughter, she never comes to services anymore"
thats because i dont need to be part of your cult to believe in god.

I watched you

look at me
lean in
then
turn and stick your tongue down her throat
is this a fucking test?
because im going to fail
oh i am done with you.

"if its any consolation he tasted like beer"
thanks
its not.

"well didnt he kiss you good night?!"
no
because apparently thats not what happens anymore

i cant do this
im done

this is me
moving on

and this is me
letting go
because as of now
after i hit that tiny little post button
i wont give a fuck

i wish this town had public transportation
i dont want to be here all day

Fungi you eat

spores
moss
respiration
biology
is the study of life
i am alive
photosynthesis
no thanks
plants
animals
evolution
biology
I will take that A now please
Thanks.

split thumbs.

i split my thumb
it bled
i saw her
she is a tease
its no fucking secret
and i thought all was lost
but then
you reached out
into a crowd of people
who were pushing
shoving
pulsing
and pulled me into you
just when i think all is lost
and i am crushed in the crowd
you pull me back
and i love you
the way we fix your car window with a trash bag and purple duct tape
it was 3 am
the way you stared at me
pulled me close
i split my thumb on his tooth
a stranger patted my head
he pulled me close
looked in my eyes
then there was you

reaching
groping
shoving
just to get to me
i dont understand it.
ive been lost in worse.

the way you click your jaw in the night
almost like the ticking of the clock
and yet.

i dont give any kind of a fuck. at all.
because i love you
fuck the world

Its so hard to reach
to grasp
to claw
because you let me down
hot rage courses through my veins
the home i thought tangible
is now drifting
dear god this cant be foreshadowing
now if you would
pull that knife out of my back
its starting to hurt.

hey there

Took this on accident
thought it was pretty good...
i dont even look like myself.
I am just so fucking exasperated.
I am tired of the people around me forgetting me
my parents
my friends
just forgetting i exist
or not following through with anything
today has been like every other day
but with the shining beam of not being homeless next year
i am so happy we have a place to live
i just wish that i knew what made me so fucking forgettable
because i really dont think i am