Stick my head out the door
feel the rain on my face
let it wash over me
i miss your face
i feel guilty
i want to write that check
i almost want to get a cold
because then i will have an excuse
to avoid people
to feel safe
the rain pours
if it wasnt so dark i would run in it
i can feel the heat subsiding
thank god
drip drop drip
the soft pitter patter will be my lullaby
soothing the troubled mind

So here it is

REASONS I DONT LIKE THAT IDEA

1. Mardi Gras is in February. It is JULY
2. Louisiana has more to offer than a big Mardi Gras celebration that is really just people vomiting. we could make it gator themed. or just the south, so hip hop, giggin, and watermelon
3. I DO NOT WANT TO SEE YOUR WHORE TITS! I have seen them one to many times and i do not need a fucking excuse for you to be more of a slut.
4. I am in denial about the move and that the person i love the most isnt going to be around for over a year and that breaks my fucking heart
so no

i dont think so.

Been here since 8am... alone... with church ladies

WHAT THE FUCK
is the point of being awake this early when there are no kids.

I need to make money
so i can move
and be uncomfortable
and see if it helps

I miss your face.
I miss Brum... WTF?!
Never thought Birmingham would strike such emotion!
The Mailbox, The Bullpen
fabulous

The church ladies here are like all other church ladies
i hear them gossiping
then i pass and they switch to me
"thats beth's daughter, she never comes to services anymore"
thats because i dont need to be part of your cult to believe in god.

I watched you

look at me
lean in
then
turn and stick your tongue down her throat
is this a fucking test?
because im going to fail
oh i am done with you.

"if its any consolation he tasted like beer"
thanks
its not.

"well didnt he kiss you good night?!"
no
because apparently thats not what happens anymore

i cant do this
im done

this is me
moving on

and this is me
letting go
because as of now
after i hit that tiny little post button
i wont give a fuck

i wish this town had public transportation
i dont want to be here all day

Fungi you eat

spores
moss
respiration
biology
is the study of life
i am alive
photosynthesis
no thanks
plants
animals
evolution
biology
I will take that A now please
Thanks.

split thumbs.

i split my thumb
it bled
i saw her
she is a tease
its no fucking secret
and i thought all was lost
but then
you reached out
into a crowd of people
who were pushing
shoving
pulsing
and pulled me into you
just when i think all is lost
and i am crushed in the crowd
you pull me back
and i love you
the way we fix your car window with a trash bag and purple duct tape
it was 3 am
the way you stared at me
pulled me close
i split my thumb on his tooth
a stranger patted my head
he pulled me close
looked in my eyes
then there was you

reaching
groping
shoving
just to get to me
i dont understand it.
ive been lost in worse.

the way you click your jaw in the night
almost like the ticking of the clock
and yet.

i dont give any kind of a fuck. at all.
because i love you
fuck the world

Its so hard to reach
to grasp
to claw
because you let me down
hot rage courses through my veins
the home i thought tangible
is now drifting
dear god this cant be foreshadowing
now if you would
pull that knife out of my back
its starting to hurt.