I watched you

look at me
lean in
then
turn and stick your tongue down her throat
is this a fucking test?
because im going to fail
oh i am done with you.

"if its any consolation he tasted like beer"
thanks
its not.

"well didnt he kiss you good night?!"
no
because apparently thats not what happens anymore

i cant do this
im done

this is me
moving on

and this is me
letting go
because as of now
after i hit that tiny little post button
i wont give a fuck

i wish this town had public transportation
i dont want to be here all day

Fungi you eat

spores
moss
respiration
biology
is the study of life
i am alive
photosynthesis
no thanks
plants
animals
evolution
biology
I will take that A now please
Thanks.

split thumbs.

i split my thumb
it bled
i saw her
she is a tease
its no fucking secret
and i thought all was lost
but then
you reached out
into a crowd of people
who were pushing
shoving
pulsing
and pulled me into you
just when i think all is lost
and i am crushed in the crowd
you pull me back
and i love you
the way we fix your car window with a trash bag and purple duct tape
it was 3 am
the way you stared at me
pulled me close
i split my thumb on his tooth
a stranger patted my head
he pulled me close
looked in my eyes
then there was you

reaching
groping
shoving
just to get to me
i dont understand it.
ive been lost in worse.

the way you click your jaw in the night
almost like the ticking of the clock
and yet.

i dont give any kind of a fuck. at all.
because i love you
fuck the world

Its so hard to reach
to grasp
to claw
because you let me down
hot rage courses through my veins
the home i thought tangible
is now drifting
dear god this cant be foreshadowing
now if you would
pull that knife out of my back
its starting to hurt.

hey there

Took this on accident
thought it was pretty good...
i dont even look like myself.
I am just so fucking exasperated.
I am tired of the people around me forgetting me
my parents
my friends
just forgetting i exist
or not following through with anything
today has been like every other day
but with the shining beam of not being homeless next year
i am so happy we have a place to live
i just wish that i knew what made me so fucking forgettable
because i really dont think i am

I need to be alone
i need my own space
i should have listened
and then maybe i would be happier
but
maybe i should have not done anything
or just done what was expected
then i wouldnt be failing
fuck
this
bull
shit.

i cant wait until i have a job
and money
and we can go to ireland

i cant wait
until someone loves me
and i love them back
without hesitation.

Shit fucking hurts.
There is something in my eye.
Staring at the screen has helped.
however my eye is watering and i cant wear my glasses...
Sometimes i hate everything...
sometimes i waste too much time
sometimes i wish things were different.